


6:30 AM

by perfumette



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Trans Female Character, also it says that there's a pairing but, angsty and kinda fluffy too idk what i'm doing honestly, the whole fic is basically yama's crush on tsukki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 02:58:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3879595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfumette/pseuds/perfumette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And I can tell just what you want.</p>
<p>You don't want to be alone.<br/>You don't want to be alone.</p>
<p>or, alternatively<br/>Yamaguchi has fallen in too deep, and dreams of nicer things to keep the pain at bay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	6:30 AM

**Author's Note:**

> I started listening to Two Door Cinema Club, please don't hit me for putting song lyrics in the description, I know what I did, and I am sorry, so, so sorry.
> 
> Regardless, enjoy angsty trans girl Yama lol.
> 
> Content warning for transphobia.

6:30 AM is what the clock reads when she wakes up, drowsy from tossing and turning all night, restless from her own thoughts.

She likes to think of when times were nicer, when Tsukishima actually seemed to care, when it seemed like-

 

**No.**

No, she knew that would never happen.

 

Yamaguchi knew that, in all her life, she would never gain the love, and affection of Tsukishima Kei. There were prettier girls than her, after all.

More passable girls, than her. Girls that had nicer hair, a nicer smile, that didn't have freckles, that were not transgender.

 

She could feel tears gathering at the corners of her eyes.

 

He probably wanted a nice wife, with a nice house, surrounded by a nice fence, with cute kids, and a dog.

 

She would never be able to give him any of that, _especially_ kids.

 

The tears slowly fall onto her cheeks, and she weakly sobs, wiping them away from her face.

 

He didn't even know her secret, her dark, dirty secret. After all these years of being friends, and being so open with each other, she still has not told him.

But she cannot bring herself to. Every time she thinks she can tell him, her throat tightens up, and suddenly she's struggling for air, and her vision starts to blur, so she stops herself before she can say anything, before the awful truth spills out.

 

She likes to imagine that maybe Tsukishima would accept her, but from seeing stories online about what other girls like her have gone through while dating, she knows that the chance of that happening is slim.

But she still hopes.

She takes one of the pillows by her head (she always has a lot on her bed, since she likes to get comfy), and brings it close to her, hugging it for comfort.

 

Before Yamaguchi knows it, she's slowly kissing it, imagining that it's Tsukki laying in bed with her.

She wonders what his chapped lips would taste like, what kind of kisses he'd give her, how he'd hold her, what he'd whisper in her ear, and she's blushing lightly at the thought of it all. 

To be held like that, to be shown affection.....it seemed so foreign, so far off for her, but it made her feel fuzzy, dizzy almost, like she was at her grandmother's house, eating a plate of homemade cookies (with love!), and basking in the feel of her worn couch.

 It was something she wanted, something she desired, so greatly.

To have someone love her, accept that she was a trans girl, and keep the horrid people away that wished to do her harm.

 

She sighs, her face now dried up with her tears, and clutches the pillow closer to her.

 

And she dreams.

 

She dreams of the day that she could truly be open with Tsukishima Kei.

The day where he would begin to use she/her pronouns for Yamaguchi.

Where he'd still continue to fend off the bullies that were hurting her.

Where he'd buy her a cute dress, and he'd be blushing when he saw how beautiful she looked in it, and she'd smile at him.

Where he'd hold her hand when she came out to the Karasuno team, and to her parents, helping her explain everything, because her confidence was still growing, and she couldn't always articulate herself well when she got scared, or nervous.

Where they get married, years later, and Tsukki's okay with not having kids, or hell, even adopting, because they would still be _their_ kids, and they would have a cute little house, and get a dog from the shelter whom Yamaguchi would nickname 'Rex', which would make Tsukki snort, but he wouldn't deny that it was a nice name.

 

Yamaguchi falls asleep again, her heart warm, yet still aching, still yearning, for Tsukki.

 

And she hopes, that maybe, just maybe, he'll like her too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I tried lol honestly I was expecting this to be all angst, but it turned a bit fluffy towards the end.
> 
> Hope you all liked it anyway!


End file.
